Preston
Super Talker
NEED HELP? WE WILL ANSWER AS FAST AS WE CAN (Note: Preston passed away in 2012. We hold his memories dearly, he was a great person and super moderator.)
Sisika and Pete
Joined: January 2005
Posts: 5,912
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Post by Preston on Dec 16, 2005 23:21:25 GMT -7
We don't have a section for this because I haven't heard any verbal jokes about birds. I thought this was in a way cute. A man arrives at the costomer's house and re-carpets it. Upon finishing he carried his tools out to the truck and realizes he can't find his cigarettes for a quick smoke. He returns the house to look for them, only to find a lump in the new floor covering He stomps it flat just before the lady asks if he has seen her parrot, and leaves after answering no to the question. He later finds his smokes on the dashboard of the truck! DOAH! . OK it wasn't that funny!
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Post by traci on Dec 16, 2005 23:23:30 GMT -7
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Post by Adele on Dec 17, 2005 14:10:48 GMT -7
I've heard what I consider a good parrot joke.
An old lady had a plumbing problem, so she called the plumber and he agreed to come over and fix it. She warned him that she has a big dog named Spike and a parrot, but that neither of them would bother him as long as he didn't talk to them. So when the plumber came over he was a bit afraid of the huge dog, but like the lady said, the dog just sat still watching. On the other hand, the parrot whistled, sang, and screamed trying to get the plumber's attention. After an hour of hard work, the plumber was getting frustrated with the parrot and finally yelled, "Shut up, you stupid bird!" The bird immediately became quite and then simply said, "Get'em Spike."
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Post by lindsay on Dec 19, 2005 4:42:10 GMT -7
Not really a joke, and most of you have probably seen this but here goes.....
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zookeeper
Weaned Todd
Sam
Joined: October 2005
Posts: 30
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Post by zookeeper on Dec 19, 2005 13:00:08 GMT -7
How very funny! I laughed so hard I interrupted everyones nap. Now I know that they are all up to something when I turn my back. That just proves it. ;D ;D ;D
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Post by traci on Dec 19, 2005 23:48:48 GMT -7
lmao now that was funny....
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laurab
Weaned Todd
Cochi, with a little Gangsta lean. Saying this is how I roll!
Joined: February 2005
Posts: 60
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Post by laurab on Dec 20, 2005 16:52:25 GMT -7
Okay Preston here is a joke for you!
HOW TO STUFF YOUR PARROT ON CHRISTMAS
Ingredients: Turkey, Stuffing, Sweet Potatoes, Mashed Potatoes and gravy, Green beans, Hot rolls and butter, relish tray Pumpkin pie with whipped cream, HOT COFFEE Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It's going to be a long day, so place your parrot on a perch nearby to deep you company as you prepare the meal. Remove Grey from kitchen counter and return to perch Prepare stuffing, and remove Grey from edge of stuffing bowl, return to perch. Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, remove Grey from pan and return to perch. Have another cup of coffee to calm your nerves. Remove Grey's head from turkey cavity and return to perch, restuff turkey. Prepare relish tray, and remember to make twice as much so that you have enough for your guests, after the Grey has had his fill. remove Grey from relish tray return to perch. Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries flung to the floor by the Grey, return to perch. Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar, return Grey to perch, replace missing marshmallows. Brew another pot of coffee. While brewing, remove coffee bean from Grey's beak, return to perch. CLEAN SHREDDED PAPER TOWELS! Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Grey from side of basket, return to perch. Remove beaked rolls, serve what's left. Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften, second thought, leave it in the refrigerator. wipe Down counter to remove mashed potato claw tracks, remove Grey, return to perch. Cut the pumpkin pie, fill in a chunk of missing pie with whipped cream, grab the lid of the whipped cream from the Grey as he runs down the kitchen counter with it in his beak, wipe off whipped cream from the feathers surrounding his beak, return to cage and lock the door. Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family, as he screams WANT OUT, WANT DINNER from the other room! Merry Christmas Everyone!! Laura and Cochi
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Post by traci on Dec 20, 2005 17:57:00 GMT -7
LMAO cute
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Preston
Super Talker
NEED HELP? WE WILL ANSWER AS FAST AS WE CAN (Note: Preston passed away in 2012. We hold his memories dearly, he was a great person and super moderator.)
Sisika and Pete
Joined: January 2005
Posts: 5,912
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Post by Preston on Dec 21, 2005 8:26:00 GMT -7
Anyone that can identify with that owns a Grey! ;D
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Post by spookyhurst on Dec 23, 2005 22:37:18 GMT -7
That's funny! I read a similar one about wrapping presents with your grey.
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jeannie
Weaned Todd
Bozley
Joined: June 2006
Posts: 53
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Post by jeannie on Jul 14, 2006 9:53:09 GMT -7
As a lady walks past the pet store on her way to buy groceries, the grey perched outside the store yells, "Hey lady!". She stops, looks at the bird and he says "You're REALLY ugly!" Surprised, offended and in a huff she scurries off to get her groceries. On her way home she passes the pet store and, again, the grey yells "Hey lady!" When she looks, he says "You're REALLY ugly!" The lady rushes home and fumes about the incidents to her husband. Finally, tired of her ranting, he tells her to go tell the pet store owner, maybe he can help. She then goes to complain to the the store owner who tells her he'll talk to the bird and take care of the situation.
The next day, she's just got to know so she walks past the pet store again. The bird is quiet until she's almost past, then yells out "Hey lady!" She stops and looks at him and he merely says "You know!"
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Preston
Super Talker
NEED HELP? WE WILL ANSWER AS FAST AS WE CAN (Note: Preston passed away in 2012. We hold his memories dearly, he was a great person and super moderator.)
Sisika and Pete
Joined: January 2005
Posts: 5,912
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Post by Preston on Jul 14, 2006 12:39:42 GMT -7
;D
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Post by louiesmom on Jul 14, 2006 13:34:03 GMT -7
a million comedians, outta work... apparently, they've all found their way to this forum.... keep 'em comin' guys! ;D
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Post by traci on Jul 14, 2006 21:17:22 GMT -7
i love the Wazzzzzzup video makes me wonder if that's what all the birds do at the shop after closing time.. i can hear a few of them screaming "wazzzzzzupppppppp!!!" ( hmmm i wonder if my boss would want to hang me if i taught them that before i leave there )
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Post by louiesmom on Jul 17, 2006 9:05:15 GMT -7
you know what's funny, my mom's double yellow-head amazon says "Wazzuup", just like in the video!
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