BellaBird
Weaned Todd
Bellabird
Joined: March 2005
Posts: 50
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Post by BellaBird on May 5, 2005 8:00:27 GMT -7
Hello all... I hate to be discouraging and all, but I'm feeling rather sad. I think Bella may have "un-bonded" with me. She will regurgitate for and cuddle with my mom when she visits, but she is less and less affectionate with me. Last night, she wanted to cuddle (or so I thought), so I let her hop onto my lap, and she proceeded to bite me (HARD). I didn't show any outward reaction, and I know it's stupid, but she hurt my feelings! I'm afraid that maybe she has chosen to bond with my mother and perhaps disown me from her flock. I'm the only one in our family she lets touch her, but I don't know that I'm even the favorite anymore. I spend each lunch hour and about three hours at night with her, playing, feeding, etc. Any suggestions? Alyssa
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Post by Jane on May 5, 2005 10:32:01 GMT -7
Greys can be like this and they can be very strong willed about it. I don't think she has disowned you, because they respond differently to all the people in the "flock" but she may always have a different relationship with you to the one she has with your mum. It often doesn't have any connection to the person who does the most cleaning and feeding etc. Your mum should try and discourage the regurgitation as this will be strengthening the bond Bella has with her.
Jane
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Post by mannie on May 5, 2005 19:43:09 GMT -7
Bella I think you are having the same problem as I. Jack has not totally shut me out of his flock, but you can tell that he has a different feeling toward my partner than I. I guess it's what the bird chooses. I think i am becoming more of his flock tho since I am starting to get noises out of him again and he's letting me pet him.
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Preston
Super Talker
NEED HELP? WE WILL ANSWER AS FAST AS WE CAN (Note: Preston passed away in 2012. We hold his memories dearly, he was a great person and super moderator.)
Sisika and Pete
Joined: January 2005
Posts: 5,912
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Post by Preston on May 6, 2005 6:52:57 GMT -7
Jane is right. Just because you care for the bird in every way, although intelligent, they can’t reason with the fact their whole existence depends on you. Therefore your Mom is the fun lady at the party, and you’re the one that rips his house apart every week to clean it, so on and so fourth. We had a roommate for a few months, and Pete just loved him. Pete displayed exactly the same behavior you describe. After I explained the complexity of a Grey, I asked him to help with the care of the bird. It may have been a week, and Pete was displaying equal attention to all of us. You can’t win the bird with love and affection in this case, because he knows that both of you love him. His limited ability to reason leaves him with the “Fun Lady” and “The Mom”. Which one would you choose?
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Post by mannie on May 6, 2005 8:45:26 GMT -7
Ok Preston, that makes sense to me since I have found out how smart these birds are. I am the one that is always cleaning Jack's cage and the room that he is in. But starting now my partner is going to do it for a couple of weeks. I was actually going to do it today, but will wait till my partner is off work and let him do it. Thanks Alan and Jack
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MJ
Weaned Todd
Pete
Joined: April 2005
Posts: 31
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Post by MJ on May 6, 2005 10:01:34 GMT -7
Mannie wrote: But starting now my partner is going to do it for a couple of weeks. I was actually going to do it today, but will wait till my partner is off work and let him do it. Thanks Alan and Jack THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD..... I HOPE IT WILL WORK FOR YOU I can't imagine if it happens to me. I hope Pete understands that my hubby doesn't care for him, so he will love me forever, hahaha
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Post by mannie on May 6, 2005 11:26:38 GMT -7
I dunno MJ I hope so. I thought the same thing. But Jack only wants me for food. :-) I told my partner tonight when he gets off work he is going to take care of the bird cage. :-)
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Post by JK on May 6, 2005 14:32:27 GMT -7
I f I waited for help cleaning the cage I am afraid there would be a awful pile up, so I guess I can hope they will let me into there flock agian. SOON
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Post by mannie on May 6, 2005 15:24:23 GMT -7
Well atleast mine knows how much I love Jack and will do it for me for a while.
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Post by Africanewbie on May 6, 2005 19:07:17 GMT -7
Boy... your AG is r..e..a..l..l..y smart. Replaces lover and retains the ex as a house maid.....LOL
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Preston
Super Talker
NEED HELP? WE WILL ANSWER AS FAST AS WE CAN (Note: Preston passed away in 2012. We hold his memories dearly, he was a great person and super moderator.)
Sisika and Pete
Joined: January 2005
Posts: 5,912
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Post by Preston on May 6, 2005 21:51:48 GMT -7
If it were only that simple AN.
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Post by Africanewbie on May 7, 2005 5:07:03 GMT -7
It is so much part of human relationships. Giving all your love to your favorite only to have him/her dote all his/her attention to someone else who cares half as much. I am sorry, I didn't mean to be rude or sound cold-heaarted but I have learnt in life there are many situations we have no control over and it is always easier to cope and deal with if we find some humor in them. For example, if we continue to see the joy and fun in having a pet no matter what the circumstances, the daily chores will be easier to look after but if we are unhappy about being ignored then these chores will become burdens. Cheer up and have some tea pellets topped with sunflower seeds. ;D
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Post by mannie on May 7, 2005 6:13:50 GMT -7
Oh believe me. I am still happy with Jack. Even tho he is not my bird anymore he still gives me alot of joy. I love listening and watching him learn. The cleaning hasn't become a burden, but we are trying Preston's theory of letting someone else do it for Jack. I am only cleaning my other 2 babies cages.
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chez
Just Hatched
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 6
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Post by chez on May 10, 2005 15:44:33 GMT -7
hi, the cleaning thing might work, well worth the try. but my partner and i share the responsibility of cleaning Alfies cage, yet one week he loves me and wants affection and fuss from only me, then he swithes to my partner and doesnt wnt anything to do with me and often nips me, which is where i sympathize as it upsets me too! But i still love him to bits. Hope all goes well Chez x
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Steph
Weaned Todd
Joined: April 2005
Posts: 51
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Post by Steph on May 11, 2005 5:26:19 GMT -7
Hello - it's amazing how many people exp[erience the same problems wih thier Grays - reading this site is really encouraging! Silver used to let me pt her and pick her up. My hubby has always been her favourite though. Recently she won;t let me touch her at all. She is still happy for me to clean her cage and feed her though!! I know how you feel though, Mannie & Alyssa - it does make you sad when your ag doesn't seem to love you as much as other people. And even more when they bite. I had a bad one last night. Nevermind - we'll keep trying!
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